The Silent Crisis: Everything They DON’T Want You To Know About Male Abuse

Breaking the Silence on Male Survivors of Domestic Violence

When we talk about abuse, we usually only consider the experiences of women. This isn’t without reason - women make up the majority of reported domestic violence cases, most services offered to domestic violence survivors cater to women and children, and the victims who speak out against DV are overwhelmingly women's voices. 

But this doesn’t mean that men don’t experience abuse. 

1 in 4 men will face some form of intimate partner violence in their lifetime, yet their experiences are often overlooked, dismissed, or met with skepticism. (​​CDC’s NISVS Report)

Society loves to paint the picture that men can never be abused. That men are always the abusers. This sad misconception has left the cycle of abuse continuing with many male victims of abuse without the support and care they need to heal. 

During this week’s Self-Mastery Podcast, we dove into this issue. It’s an interesting conversation worthy of consideration and a topic we don’t talk about enough. 

So Why Is Male Abuse Overlooked?

There are LOTS of reasons male abuse is overlooked. 

Men are supposed to be strong and the protectors of themselves and our families. The image of masculinity doesn’t offer much room for weakness or to speak around the toxic stigmas that many men go through. To keep the view of masculinity intact, issues of abuse, whether it be sexual, physical, emotional, or otherwise, are often kept silent. 

This silence follows men from childhood into their adult lives, where they are offered very little in terms of support, resources, or an empathetic and listening ear. Many men who are physically or emotionally abused by their partners fear they won’t be believed or listened to.

When men have issues that stem from experiences with abuse, toxic relationships, or PTSD, we often consider them broken and undesirable. We very rarely look deeper to consider any underlying issues. 

Some common barriers men face include:

• Stigma and Shame – Men are often told they should be "strong" and capable of defending themselves. They're treated as if they should simply be able to get through tough issues. Admitting to abuse can feel like admitting weakness, which clashes with the ideal vision of what it is to be a man.

• Lack of Resources – Many domestic violence shelters and hotlines are overwhelmingly designed to meet the needs of women and children. There are very few places for men to turn when it comes to resources and services for abuse.

• Legal Disadvantages – When it comes to domestic issues, courts tend to side with women. It’s difficult for male victims to get protection orders or custody of their children. Abusers of men can easily manipulate the system to cause hardship to men. This disadvantage is worth much more exploration because of the impact it has on so many of our communities.

• Social Reactions – When men do report abuse, they are sometimes mocked or not taken seriously by law enforcement, friends, or even family members. Most men try to avoid the social rejection that comes with labeling themselves as survivors of abuse. 

Forms of Abuse Men Experience

Just like women, men can be the targets of all kinds of abusive behaviors, including:

• Physical Abuse – Hitting, slapping, throwing objects, or using weapons. Some men hesitate to fight back out of fear of being labeled the aggressor.

• Emotional and Verbal Abuse – Insults, belittling, threats, and manipulation designed to break down confidence and self-worth.

• Financial Abuse – Controlling a partner’s money, sabotaging job opportunities, or forcing financial dependence.

• Sexual Abuse – Coercion, forced intimacy, or using sex as a means of control. Many male survivors feel deep shame about this form of abuse and hesitate to talk about it.

The Consequences of Silence

Because male abuse is so underreported, we don’t have a full picture of its impact.

What we do know is that male survivors are more likely to experience:

• Depression and PTSD – Without proper support, many men develop severe anxiety and trauma responses that affect their relationships, careers, and mental health.

• Substance Abuse – Some turn to alcohol or drugs as a way to cope with their experiences.

• Suicidal Thoughts – Studies indicate that abused men are at higher risk for suicide, yet they often don’t seek help due to stigma.

These are just a few consequences of silence. Consider the high numbers of people who abuse men who never face any consequences because of the silence around this issue.

Consider the men who have turned to become abusers because of the pent-up rage they have inside due to a lack of healing because their trauma has not been addressed. 

The list of consequences is far, wide and deep and we can’t truly scrape the surface of it until men are offered more support, resources and encouragement to share their stories and get the healing that they need. 

Cycles of abuse continue because of silence. When we don't address the underlying issue(s) of a problem we cannot create impactful change to solve it.

What Needs to Change?

• More Awareness – We need to acknowledge that men can be victims too and ensure they are included in conversations about domestic violence.

• Better Resources – Shelters, hotlines, and advocacy groups must expand services to include male survivors.

• Legal System Reform – Courts and law enforcement must be trained to recognize abuse against men and provide the same level of protection offered to female survivors.

• Encouraging Men to Speak Out – The more stories we hear, the more we normalize seeking help.

Abuse doesn’t discriminate. It can happen to anyone, regardless of gender, race, socioeconomic status, or background. If we want to end domestic violence, we must recognize and support all survivors—including men.

Check out this week's podcast for more stories on men who have been directly impacted by issues of abuse and why we think this cycle has so easily grown in the male population. 

If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, reach out. Help is available. No one should have to suffer in silence.

---

I am an author and trauma-recovery expert dedicated to helping survivors of intimate abuse reach new heights through healing, love, and career & financial guidance. Not only can you heal after a toxic relationship, you can thrive and live a happy and successful life.

This is your birthright. 

If you are struggling to find your power and could benefit from a helping hand, check out my Self-Mastery Academy or contact me. I would love to help empower your journey.